That doesn't sound like a personal problem
collective emotions, resilience, and phases of empowerment
“I know that man is capable of great deeds. But if he isn't capable of great emotion, well, he leaves me cold.”
― Albert Camus, The Plague
"That sounds like a personal problem..." is something you might hear and even think quite often in response to issues surrounding emotions, feelings, mental health, etc.
But is it really?
Yesterday, I attended an online event titled "Burnout is a community issue, not an individual one" as part of #altSXSWedu (due to SXSW in Austin getting canceled). In it, educational psychologist Emily Santiago explained how trauma isn't isolated— it impacts everything around you. Likewise, it is the onus of the collective to be there for each other. She put it this way:
Don’t tell someone to be resilient, instead create an environment where resilience is possible. Create an environment where resilience is inevitable.
Through the Dynamic Empowerment Assessment she designed, you can gain an understanding of where your role is right now in this ecosystem, and which quadrant you fall in below.
Basically, if you have the capacity to do so, be there for others. Listen, hold space, and be compassionate. If you need to and can do that for yourself, do it for yourself. And perhaps most importantly for those often in the "helper" role, have the awareness and the courage to ask for help from others when necessary. No quadrant is any 'better' than the other. Asking for help is just as important as giving help.
Another takeaway for me was that like most things, we cycle through these phases and are not limited to one quadrant over time.
Being aware of what quadrant you're in at what time can not only help yourself, but also those around you.
Extending these ideas to other emotions is worth looking at as well. During a discussion on the philosophy of anger with ten strangers last week, we touched upon the differences of personal and systemic anger, or rather, private versus public anger. While most people had a pretty decent understanding of how to manage personal and interpersonal anger, many of us had questions on how to express anger at a systemic level towards issues regarding larger-scale oppression and injustice.
While I don't have a ton of well thought out answers yet, I do know that we're going to have to extend compassion, trust, and understanding beyond the personal level for meaningful change. I'm going to think on this more in the upcoming weeks, so as always, let me know if you have any thoughts around this.
You'll probably agree with me that more than ever, we're seeing collective emotional responses. Let's be there for ourselves, and let's be there for each other.
Much light and love,
Amy
et cetera
It's been super interesting hearing the reactions of friends who are working from home these days. On one side of the spectrum is absolute celebration and joy, and on the other is dread and loneliness. If anyone has any anxieties over working from home, taking classes online, or being confined inside, don't hesitate to reach out— I know it can be tough at first.
Besides a two-week trip, I've essentially been self-quarantined for all of 2020 thus far lol so I might know a little something about it. The amazing part is, I actually feel more connected, inspired, and productive in the last three months than ever before.
Sidenote: if you've ever wanted to start a creative project, be consistent about healthy habits, write a book, learn something new, or paint your emotions, there's no better time than if you're stuck at home 🙂🙃- if you don't know how to get started or want some accountability, reply to this email or schedule a chat with me below and let's talk about it!
📚 reading
I finally finished Educated by Tara Westover and it hit me hard, spurring a lot of thoughts around family dynamics, school systems, and religious upbringing. Some quotes that stood out:
My life was narrated for me by others. Their voices were forceful, emphatic, absolute. It had never occurred to me that my voice might be as strong as theirs.
First find out what you are capable of, then decide who you are.
You are not fool's gold, shining only under a particular light. Whomever you become, whatever you make yourself into, that is who you always were. It was always in you.
I can stand in this wind, because I'm not trying to stand in it...the wind is just wind. You can withstand these gusts in the ground, so you can withstand them in the air. There is no difference. Except the difference you make in your head.
The thing about having a mental breakdown is that no matter how obvious it is that you're having one, it is somehow not obvious to you. I'm fine, you think. So what if I watched TV for twenty-four straight hours yesterday. I'm not falling apart. I'm just lazy. Why it's better to think yourself lazy than think yourself in distress, I'm not sure. But it was better. More than better: it was vital.
Trying not to be a typical Seth Godin fanperson just because I'm fresh out of the altMBA, but this interview Seth Godin Hates Being Organized by Dan Shipper of Superorganizers is worth a read, especially in contrast to the also very impressive Marie Poulin's interview in How to Run Your Life Inside Notion. My takeaway: Do whatever works for you— a fancy tool/system only works as hard as you do.
Also I love Seth's water bottle hack as a guide for giving talks if he can't use slides lolll.
🖊 writing
Background for the newcomers— I’m writing a book with the working title of Reclaiming Control: Looking Inward to Recalibrate Your Life slated for publication in July 2020. If you have any thoughts or stories surrounding mindfulness or emotional intelligence, I’d love to hear them.
You'll be hearing more on this early next week, but my pre-sale campaign will be live in FIVE DAYS, starting on Monday, March 16th. As an early supporter of my book, you'll not only make my publication possible, but also join my beta-reader community where you'll be able to read early versions of my introduction and chapters as well as give feedback on cover design. Can't wait to share with you all next week!! (and sorry in advance for being annoying about it)
🙈 experimenting
Almost a month ago now, I participated in a week-long mindfulness / emotional intelligence workshop online with a fellow creator and writer, Conni Biesalski. I wanted to test whether mindfulness was effective as a group online, and I'm so glad to find that it was.
Since then, I've been in a couple of digital groups including a 21 day meditation challenge organized by my lovely friend Ana. This experience led me to host one of my own challenges with a group of 10 wonderful people around the world, which kicked off today.
If you have any interest in joining the next meditation challenge or want to hear more about attending an online mindfulness group session, you can click the link below to fill out a 30 second form to stay in the loop 🤗.
That's all, thanks for reading 💛
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