📣My book, Reclaiming Control: Looking Inward to Recalibrate Your Life is published! You can find it on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and indie stores and physical stores soon 🎊 THANK YOU to so many of you here who have been following me since the beginning of this book journey and for helping make this a reality ♥️ I'll be having an author talk with Paul Millerd from Boundless next Wednesday, August 26th at 6PM EST— you can register here.
"I never really know what I think about something until I read what I've written on it."
— William Faulkner
In 11th grade, my English teacher assigned us to "prepare a case study of yourself as a writer." Our prompt included the above William Faulkner quote.
The essay introduces my intimate relationship with writing ever since I started journaling at four years old and trickles through my affairs with writing short stories and poetry. I eventually lament on how I abandoned these endeavors throughout the years, presenting my case study on the inverse relationship between creativity and schooling.
Here's a snapshot of how sixteen-year-old Amy viewed writing:
Currently, my connection to writing for personal use remains in childhood memories, locked in a box of bittersweet nostalgia. For the time being, I will continue to spend my life chained to the education system, depending on deadlines and grades to evoke forced inspiration within me.
y i k e s. the angst!
Well, I'm happy to have unlocked that "box of bittersweet nostalgia" and write for personal use now. My book still depended on deadlines (not sure if this will ever go away for me), but at least they were chosen deadlines.
As many of you know, I quit my job without a plan a little over a year ago. I wanted to do something creative and introspective at the same time. When I quite spontaneously decided to commit to the Creator Institute, I intended to write about emotional intelligence, mindfulness, and character development through coaching. I didn't want to write about myself. All I knew was that I wanted to write stories beyond user stories in Jira.
As I started the process, however, it became clear that I had a lot of stories around myself that I had to work through before being able to write about anything else. No wonder they call the genre self-help...because the author is truly attempting to help themself.
Writing a memoir-ish book is a ton of emotional labor. You think about what has shaped you, what memories stand out, and re-live each detail word by word. You then edit edit edit and attempt to extract some lessons from those experiences.
As Lori Gottlieb, writer and therapist, includes in her About section,
I believe that our stories form the core of our lives and give them deeper meaning. As a writer I ask, “What does the protagonist want and what is keeping that person from getting it?” As a therapist I ask the same questions. In both the therapy room and at my writing desk, I do a lot of editing of these stories: What material is extraneous? Is the story advancing or is the protagonist going in circles? Do the plot points reveal a theme?
Of course, in the best of therapy and writing, the story we start out with may not be the story we end up with. What first got included in the telling may now be left out, and what was left out may become a central plot point. Some major characters might become minor ones, and some minor characters may take on star billing. Our own role might change, too—from bit player to lead, from victim to hero.
Three weeks ago, my book was published. Sixteen-year-old me would be proud. I have a feeling that sixty-year-old me will be proud as well.
Here are some questions for you:
What is your role in your own life right now? In others? In your community? In this world? How would your sixteen-year-old self view the story you're living? How about your sixty-year-old self?
Love,
Amy
P.S. I came across this article questioning the existence of self-authorship. It argues, "Life simply never assumes a story-like shape for us. And neither, from a moral point of view, should it." Perhaps there is no narrative and that's okay 🤷♀️
et cetera
📣Over the last several months, I've started working with people 1-1 on their own wellbeing journeys. If you're interested in applying the topics I write about (mindfulness / emotions / burnout / etc) in your own life in a personalized yet systematic way, reply to this email and let me know 🥰
📖 reading
I've been reading words on Lynna Odel's blog and soaking in wisdom from other women climate leaders.
Lynna's mindset shift that I greatly resonate with:
I stopped chasing perfection as a goal and went after slight improvements instead. I started to think about the next right thing rather than the monstrous odds. I also gave up any idea of myself as a savior who might solve climate change if I could just be brilliant or rich enough, and began to see myself as a tiny but crucial part of a big movement.
Pieces of advice on taking on climate change as a regular person:
Your life is different from mine in a million ways. I can’t tell you what you should do to tackle climate injustice. If you’re a regular person like me, though, and you want to do more but don’t know how to start, I have some advice.
First, find leaders you haven’t focused on before, especially women and other people on the margins of mainstream attention, who envision a future where everyone can flourish. Spend time reading and listening to their ideas. Then think hard about your specific self and life, and what you could do this week or month. Then try it, and keep an eye out for the next thing. You won’t be able to do everything, but you will be able to do something now, and another thing soon, and another after that.
You are welcome in the climate movement, in your messy human context, and you can help. I believe your life will be better if you try.
Lynna Odel is having a poem featured in the upcoming book All We Can Save: Truth, Courage, and Solutions for the Climate Crisis, an anthology of essays and poems written by women at the forefront of the climate movement, which I am SO excited about.
📚 book updates
After almost a year since I started this journey, Reclaiming Control is published (!!!) and available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and indie stores and physical stores soon 🎊. The Kindle version is only $0.99 for the month of August, so be sure to grab a copy if you haven't already!
It was also kinda cool that it was a #1 New Release in Emotions & Mental Health for the entire first week after its launch 🎉
In celebration of the book release, Samara of Kasai Thrive and I held an IG Live titled Detoxing from the American Dream. We discuss shedding old beliefs around what it means to “make it,” finding the courage to actually make a leap and change your life, and tiny steps you can make today to reclaim control. If you missed it, here's the replay.
Join Paul Millerd of Boundless and me next Wednesday at 3PM EST for a virtual author talk! You can register below.
🙈 playing
I came across these maps by Alan Cowen and spent way too long going through all of them. My favorites are "Emotions Evoked by Music Across Cultures" (emotions/music/China/US - it was pretty much made for me??) and "Emotions Recognized in Vocalizations". Apparently vocal bursts convey 24 different kinds of emotion...who knew?
🎧 listening
I don't listen to Tim Ferris much these days anymore, but this episode with Lori Gottlieb was relevant on unlearning and editing your story. I've also been enjoying Esther Perel's Where Should We Begin, "a Podcast for anyone who has ever loved." Brené Brown's episode with Celeste Ng, author of Everything I Never Told You and Little Fires Everywhere, was also a wonderful listen on writing and humaning.
That's all, thanks for reading 💛
If any of this resonated with you, feel free to share or subscribe below to keep up with more musings. You can read past letters here. If you want to chat about anything, anything at all, feel free to reply to this email or schedule a time here.