Say it with me: I am not a procrastinator
Once again, it all comes down to awareness and emotions
We don't tell ourselves, "I'm never going to write my symphony." Instead we say, "I am going to write my symphony; I'm just going to start tomorrow.”
-Steven Pressfield, the War of Art
The past couple of weeks have been decisions decisions decisions. Not only in real life, but also learning about them, thinking about the process, and overall getting incredibly meta.
Previous Amy would want to crawl into a hole or under a blanket and never come out. Well actually, current Amy still wants to do that but is taking steps forward, no matter how small they may be (yay for acceptance and committed action!)
Now would be a good time to remember that crawling into a hole is a decision in itself...because inaction is a decision. When you push off deciding what to do this weekend, that is a decision. When you push off deciding what you want to do with your life, that is also a decision.
When you stay up watching cat videos instead of writing your thesis, that is a decision. When you scroll on Reddit instead of cleaning your room, that is also a decision.
You are not simply procrastinating, you are actively choosing to do something else instead.
I have tendencies to procrastinate on decisions...small or large, it doesn't matter. An extensive restaurant menu is my definition of a nightmare (which is maybe why I relate to Chidi so much ⬇️).
When we move past decision-making and face procrastination with things we have on our plate, we often think of the concept as linked to time management. But if you look beneath the surface (as researchers have), procrastination is about managing your emotions, not about being good or bad with time.
The ever-classic Wait But Why Dark Playground of Procrastination:
Tim Urban describes the fun you have in the Dark Playground as not actually fun because "it’s completely unearned and the air is filled with guilt, anxiety, self-hatred, and dread."
There are clear emotions that result from procrastination. But what about the emotions that induce it?
The art of procrastination and distraction came up in a session a couple months ago in my book writing program. A major learning for me was while there are external triggers (being "too busy" with kids, parents, friends, job, “life”, etc.), you choose to be distracted to mask something else going on internally.
In our book writing case, these internal triggers are most often insecurity (Imposter Syndrome), loneliness, fatigue, or uncertainty. My guess is that even if you're not writing a book, you might be familiar with these internal triggers of distraction and procrastination.
I've been reading the War of Art this past week (usually as a method of procrastination, oops), which says:
Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance.
You're familiar with Resistance. It's the force that gets in between you and any creative pursuit, New Year's Resolution, or desire to be better. It's universal, sometimes clinical, and most of all— a skilled manipulator.
Here's an example of Resistance: I have writing time blocked out on my calendar. I know it's time to sit and write...except wait I should probably clean my desk first. Now's probably the best time to reply to that email I've left hanging for three days. Why do I feel the need to floss? Perhaps I should do more research just so I'm more prepared to write about this.
And there my mind goes, conjuring the most ridiculous thoughts to avoid typing words at all costs. When digging a bit deeper, it's not that I don't want to write my book...I do, and I know I can. What's there is fear. Not fear of writing the book itself, but having to sell it once I do write it.
I saw this tweet in a fellow writer's newsletter about creative projects, So Relatable, and wow so true 😅
So how do you become the person you want to be, the unlived life within you? It's all about awareness of your emotions surrounding why you're avoiding whatever it is...and taking baby steps despite those emotions (Sidenote my niece is starting to walk and she's helping me understand baby steps at a whole new level 😍😭).
Wait But Why's followup piece How to Beat Procrastination ends with:
Aim for slow, steady progress—Storylines are rewritten one page at a time...Don't think about going from A to Z—just start with A to B. Change the Storyline from “I procrastinate on every hard task I do” to “Once a week, I do a hard task without procrastinating.”
I'd argue that storylines are rewritten on word at a time. So, what if with one difficult task this week, you didn't procrastinate? What would happen if you decided that with just that one thing, you're not a procrastinator?
Much light and love,
Amy
et cetera
I found these recently launched Google apps to be fascinating/horrifying/amusing. Envelope is a new app for cutting down screen time— you literally print out a set of PDF files and fold the paper into an envelope that encompasses your phone (Only for Google Pixel 3A for now…sorry iPhone users). One is a camera and the other is a basic phone that only allows you to make or receive calls.
One review on the Google app store: "Need real determination to be able to use this for more than a couple of hours."
What's next, Google hosting workshops on self control?
🖊 writing
Background for the newcomers— I’m writing a book on taking control of your life with foundations of mindfulness and emotional intelligence. If you have any thoughts or stories surrounding those topics, I’d love to hear them.
My book got the green light just today from New Degree Press to be able to be published at the end of July 2020!
There's been some intense Resistance going on with writing lately but I've been working with my editor more to write my Author's Note/Introduction and to continue structuring chapters.
👀 watching
A friend shared a cool video on the Toolbox Fallacy as a creative trap. Really worth the watch.
"Self-awareness doesn’t make [our already-always-automatic ways of living our lives] go away, but it does give you the freedom to choose another way of being. And with every step in a different direction, you feel the gravity from those automatic ways of being, less and less."
That's all, thanks for reading 💛As always, I’d love to hear any and all thoughts, especially if there’s something in which you’ve been feeling ~Resistance~
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